The Science of “Doing” Gender: Exploring Femininity and Masculinity in our Society

What are the ways that gender shows up in your life? Usually, we experience gender through behaviors, appearances, or interests that society labels as masculine or feminine, such as wearing makeup, baking, lifting weights, or grilling. We tend to link certain behaviors and characteristics to women, such as caring for others, and others to men, such as being tough. However, these qualities are not biologically built-in; they are things we “do.” For example, studies show that men and women are more alike than they are different. Researchers looked at 2,000 psychology studies and found that 78% of gender differences are either nonexistent or incredibly small. This shows that differences between people may be influenced by something else beyond biology.

So, why might we still see some differences in our day-to-day life? Well, characteristics and behaviors that you might associate one gender over another often come from the way society has defined and maintained what it means to be a woman or a man, such as through the way you were raised. For example, girls are encouraged early on to be nurturing with their toys, like caring for a baby doll or playing with a toy kitchen and discouraged from doing more “masculine” things like roughhousing or watching wrestling. Messages like these influence the interests, behaviors, and traits that people develop over their lifetime. For example, research shows that parents and teachers expect boys to do better at math than girls. This negatively influences how girls feel about math and how well they do in the subject. So, the stereotype that boys are better at math keeps going – it’s a cycle!

Gender norms are like unwritten rules about how you’re supposed to act based on your gender. These rules can make people hide their real interests or traits if they don’t fit the “normal” or never give them the chance to develop these interests in the first place. Femininity is particularly regulated by these gender norms. Expressing femininity might be okay for women, but research shows that it is frowned upon when expressed by people who aren’t women, such as men and nonbinary people. This often comes from believing that traits associated with femininity (e.g., being nurturing) is something only women have. For example, boys are discouraged from playing with toys that are seen as feminine, since boys are supposed to be naturally tough and not interested in feminine things.

So, what can we do if we want to make society more understanding of the many ways that people “do” gender? Well, one way is to pay more attention to the ways that we communicate these norms, even if we don’t always mean to. For example, a psychology study found that when moms were reading books to kids, 64% of mothers pointed out gender differences (like “that’s for girls, not boys”). Sometimes we reinforce these gender norms without even realizing it, just through the language we use. These beliefs and language are so ingrained in society that they are hard to change, despite research showing them to be not rooted in how humans experience gender. However, by working towards unlearning these biases, we can create spaces for people to express their gender in their own way!

Recommended Readings: 

Hyde, J. S., Bigler, R. S., Joel, D., Tate, C. C., & van Anders, S. M. (2019). The future of sex and gender in psychology: Five challenges to the gender binary. American Psychologist, 74(2), 171.

Morgenroth, T., & Ryan, M. K. (2021). The effects of gender trouble: An integrative theoretical framework of the perpetuation and disruption of the gender/sex binary. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 16(6), 1113-1142.

References: 

1. https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2005-11115-001
2. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-011-9996-2
3. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/19419899.2024.2403002
4. https://www.jstor.org/stable/3701396?seq=1
5. https://www.pnas.org/doi/abs/10.1073/pnas.1509654112